05: The Back Door | Bloomington, IN

SARAH: HI, LISTENERS. THIS IS SARAH. BEFORE WE GET INTO THE EPISODE, I WANTED TO TALK FOR A SECOND ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO HEAR. AT THE BACK DOOR WE INTERVIEWED A VARIETY OF DIFFERENT DRAG PERFORMERS: KINGS, QUEENS, AND GENDERQUEER OF ALL DIFFERENT GENDER IDENTITIES. AND THEIR IDENTITIES BECAME A BIG PART OF THIS STORY. SO WE ARE GOING TO USE THE TERMS AMAB AND AFAB A LOT. IF YOU DON’T KNOW, THOSE ARE ACRONYMS FOR ASSIGNED MALE AT BIRTH AND ASSIGNED FEMALE AT BIRTH. WE TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYONE IS COMFORTABLE BEING REFERRED TO THIS WAY AS IT REFERS TO A PAST THAT YOU MIGHT NOT IDENTIFY WITH. AS A DISCLAIMER, IF YOU HEAR THE TERMS AMAB OR AFAB IN THIS EPISODE, WE HAVE GOTTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PERSON TO DESCRIBE THEM THAT WAY.

SO NOW THAT WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE, LET’S GET INTO THE EPISODE.

SARAH: VERNA VENDETTA STARTED SEWING AT AROUND 8 YEARS OLD. 

VERNA: It was just a thing that my parents and grandparents could give me to, like, keep me busy. And so I started, like, you know, hand sewing with scraps of fabric. And I made little outfits for my cat and like a little pillow and a bed for him. And then I started going bigger and making things for my little sister.

SARAH: VERNA NEVER RECEIVED ANY SORT OF FORMAL TRAINING IN SEWING. BUT RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, THEY APPLIED FOR A JOB AT DAVID’S BRIDAL. 

VERNA: I had to pass a sewing test that took me all day because I had no formal experience at all, and was just blown away that they offered me the position. And I think it's just because I was a perfectionist. And so I wasn't going to leave until I had everything perfect. But at the time, I think minimum wage was like 515 or 525. And they offered me $9 an hour. And I was just like, what?

SARAH: TODAY, VERNA IS A DRAG KING, BASED IN BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA. THEY DESIGN AND SEW THEIR OWN COSTUMES.

VERNA: And so this is kind of a white wig with rabbit ears attached to it.

SARAH: BY DAY, VERNA OWNS A BODY POSITIVE, QUEER-FRIENDLY TAILOR SHOP.

VERNA: I noticed that the women specifically that would come stand in front of those big mirrors, either in my home or then eventually in the shop, were always just sort of tearing themselves apart, like standing there, and nitpicking everything that they didn't like about their bodies. And it was heartbreaking. And I found that other people had created signage that you could hang in your business that would say like, this is a body positive space. We don't police gender norms, we don't talk about weight or dieting, just stuff like that. 

THE SHOP IS LESS THAN HALF A MILE AWAY FROM OUR NEXT STOP: THE BACK DOOR. VERNA HAS BEEN PERFORMING THERE SINCE AROUND 2014.

VERNA: I like to get ready at my shop actually in front of like the big mirrors and then just like walk down to The Back Door.

SARAH: THE BACK DOOR IS BLOOMINGTON, INDIANA’S ONLY QUEER BAR. YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR US REFER TO IT THAT WAY A LOT. A QUEER BAR. WHICH JUST MEANS IT IS INCLUSIVE TO ALL MEMBERS OF THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY. 

BUT THE BACK DOOR FINDS ITSELF ON A LIST OF 21 REMAINING LESBIAN BARS. THE LIST WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE LESBIAN BAR PROJECT, A CAMPAIGN TO PRESERVE THE LAST LESBIAN BARS IN THE COUNTRY THROUGH MEDIA AND FUNDRAISING. THEY HAVE ACTUALLY RAISED OVER 150-THOUSAND DOLLARS AND DISTRIBUTED THAT AMONGST THE BARS ON THE LIST. INCLUDING THE BACK DOOR.

SO WE STILL WANTED TO VISIT, IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THEN TO FIND OUT WHY. 

FIRST OF ALL, IT’S BRANDED AS A RADICAL FEMINIST, QUEER SPACE. IT’S DEFINITELY NOT YOUR TYPICAL GAY DRAG BAR. 

VERNA: It was also at The Back Door specifically where I had ever encountered drag kings... 

SARAH: HERE’S VERNA AGAIN.

VERNA: I came to a fundraiser show having no idea what it was going to be. And it was an all drag king showcase. And I was like, what, like, you can perform, like people like me can perform like, you can do drag? I had no idea. I had no idea. 

SARAH: VERNA ORIGINALLY MOVED TO BLOOMINGTON WHEN THEIR HUSBAND AT THE TIME GOT A JOB THERE. 

VERNA: So it's just kind of a happy accident. I suppose. 

SARAH: BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE VERNA STARTED DOING DRAG. IT ALL BEGAN WITH A BELLY DANCING WORKOUT DVD. 

VERNA: It was so much fun that I like played it over again and did it twice, and realized that that was a huge mistake, because I had never actually like used all of those abdominal muscles before. So I like could not sleep at night it hurt so bad. I was better at it than I would have expected to be. And I'm not really sure why that is. 

SARAH: PERHAPS IT WAS BECAUSE BELLY DANCING RUNS IN THEIR FAMILY. 

VERNA: I was sort of drawn to continuing because my grandma had mentioned to me that she had assisted a friend of hers in teaching belly dance, I want to say in like the 60s or 70s. And like supposedly, they were even recording like a video of this so that they could then like, send it out or sell it as like a you know, at home learn how to belly dance. 

SARAH: FOR A WHILE, VERNA PERFORMED IN A BELLY DANCING TROUPE. BUT BELLY THAT WAS JUST KIND OF A STEPPING STONE TO BURLESQUE AND DRAG,  AS VERNA VENDETTA OF COURSE. 

VERNA: I did a lot of and I still do a lot of like very character specific drag. So a lot of the time I'm not really on stage as Verna as an entity, I'm onstage as like Sweeney Todd, or Buzz Lightyear or characters that already exist in some form. But it really just depends.

SARAH: THE MORE INVOLVED VERNA BECAME IN THE DRAG SCENE, THE MORE THEY STARTED TO EMBRACE THEIR ANDROGYNY. AND THEIR HUSBAND HAD A HARD TIME WITH THAT.

VERNA: My marriage ended, like, because I refused to shave or, like, put on more dresses. I guess. Like it really came down to that.

SARAH: AND THEIR DRAG, BECAME A HUGE POINT OF CONTENTION.

VERNA: But it sort of became like, look at this thing that I'm allowing you to go do like this crazy hobby that you have, like, isn't it, you know, generous of me as your spouse to, like, allow you to go do that. As long as you're gonna come home and still be a housewife afterward. That’s fine. And so, you know, the one or two times a year that I could get him to come out, normally, I would have to be like, Okay, in this show, I'm going to be like, feminine, and sexy, you know. And so then he was more likely to come out. 

SARAH: WHEN VERNA AND THEIR HUSBAND EVENTUALLY DIVORCED, VERNA THREW THEMSELF INTO THEIR DRAG.

VERNA: Where do you get the money to get a divorce if you have none? I made it my goal to pay for my entire divorce through doing drag because it was the thing that he hated the most. And so spite really fueled me for a couple of years there, and I did it.

SARAH: TODAY, VERNA DOESN’T PERFORM AT THE BACK DOOR AS MUCH AS THEY USED TO. BUT WE’LL GET INTO THAT MORE LATER. 

VERNA: There's nothing that any of us want more, then for that bar to succeed and be everything that it says that it is. We just got to a point where we couldn't be the ones making that happen. 

SARAH: THIS IS CRUISING. A PODCAST ABOUT THE LAST LESBIAN BARS IN THE U.S. MY NAME IS SARAH GABRIELLI AND I’M TRAVELLING TO EACH ONE OF THEM WITH MY TWO FRIENDS AND CHOSEN FAMILY.

​​THIS IS STOP NUMBER FIVE: THE BACK DOOR

SMOOVE GARDNER AND NICCI B HAVE AN ONGOING DEBATE ABOUT THE FIRST TIME THEY MET. 

SMOOVE: Hah! When I showed Nicci my tan.

NICCI: Oh my god. It’s not a tan Smoove. You have to tell this story because I can't.

SARAH: THEY CAN AGREE THAT IT WAS JULY OF 2012. BUT NOT ON WHETHER SMOOVE WAS TANNED, OR BADLY SUNBURNT. 

SMOOVE: I had just gotten back from San Francisco pride. And I had borrowed somebody's motorcycle to ride in dykes on bikes. And of course, you know, like, I had my shirt off. Duh.

NICCI: You didn't have your shirt off. You had the tits cut out of your shirt. And you were wearing pasties. 

SMOOVE: But then my tassels fell off. So my, my breasts got burned. Or tan, I was calling it tan. I was like, hey, and so it was looked funny, because when, you know, I'd lift up my shirt and everything was pink, like include--it matched my areola, right? So I was like, hey, Nicci, look at my tan. And that's when you were like it is not a tan. 

SARAH: DESPITE THIS LIGHT-HEARTED INTERACTION, NICCI AND SMOOVE ACTUALLY MET UNDER SAD CIRCUMSTANCES. AFTER A MUTUAL FRIEND, CHRISTIAN, PASSED AWAY OF A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK AT 40 YEARS OLD. HERE’S NICCI:

NICCI: I was living in Atlanta at the time. And I had, I had met her and, and everybody during this during this grieving period, when I went to Bloomington to go to his wake

SARAH: THE IDEA TO OPEN A QUEER BAR IN BLOOMINGTON FIRST CAME UP AT CHRISTIAN’S MEMORIAL.

NICCI: He was a fabulous gay man and had lots of fabulous gay friends. And so we're all mourning over, you know, a lot of vodka and a keg of beer. And so we were all talking about it. And there hadn't been a place for queer people to dance downtown Bloomington in quite a while.

SARAH: THERE WERE A FEW TRADITIONAL GAY BARS IN BLOOMINGTON, BUT NO INCLUSIVE QUEER SPACES AND DEFINITELY NO LESBIAN BARS. AND AT THE STRAIGHT BARS, QUEER PEOPLE WERE NOT ALWAYS MADE TO FEEL WELCOME.

ONE OF CHRISTIAN’S FRIENDS, WE’LL CALL HIM KEVIN, SHARED A STORY ABOUT GOING OUT WITH A PARTNER IN DOWNTOWN BLOOMINGTON. THEY WERE AT ONE OF THE COLLEGE DANCE BARS. 

NICCI: I don't know if they got like, gay bashed, but they definitely, it was made known that they were not welcome there. And so that was kind of the birth of wanting to create a space downtown.

SARAH: AFTER THE MEMORIAL, NICCI RETURNED TO ATLANTA WHERE THEY WERE LIVING AND WORKING FOR A THEATER.

NICCI: I was acting and doing props master stuff, and marketing, and graphic design, and set painting, and like all these great things that I love to do, it's just a lot of work and there's no money and I didn't, I didn't feel like I had a lot of direction at the time.

SARAH: THEY WERE ALSO BARTENDING.

NICCI: As as people in the art are wont to do.

SARAH: A FEW WEEKS AFTER THE MEMORIAL, NICCI GOT A PHONE CALL FROM SMOOVE AND KEVIN.

NICCI: They were like, Hey, we're actually going to do this. Do you want to do want to move to Bloomington? And then I realized that I didn't really have anything else going on that I was that I was that I was married to at the time. So I said why not? And the universe just kind of made way. 

SARAH: A FEW MONTHS LATER, NICCI WAS LIVING IN BLOOMINGTON.

NICCI: And then a few months after that, we opened the bar. 

SARAH: THE UNIVERSE HAD KIND OF ALIGNED IN A LOT OF WAYS, FOR NICCI AND SMOOVE TO OPEN THE BACK DOOR BAR. SMOOVE GREW UP IN BLOOMINGTON AND HAD RECENTLY MOVED BACK FROM SAN FRANCISCO

SMOOVE: I came back mainly because my parents are getting older and, you know, needing a little more help. And I was tired of being a corporate whore and over the city and all the dumb shit that goes along with that. I just wanted something easier. I wanted time back. Yeah, I sold my house in San Francisco and I bought four houses here, so.

SARAH: IN SAN FRANCISCO, SMOOVE WORKED FOR A BANK

SMOOVE: People were like, what do you do, and I'm like a help trap people in endless cycles of debt. It's not cute. It's not something you can do for forever. The paycheck was great, but it's not, you know, after a while, it just, I can't anymore. And I was kind of trapped there. You know, the huge mortgage and like making six figures and still living paycheck to paycheck, it was real dumb. I'm like, why am I? Why am I doing this? This is a lot more rewarding. And I am an extrovert so. I'm not using like my power for like evil anymore. 

SARAH: INSTEAD, SMOOVE USED HER POWER TO HANDLE THE FINANCES AT THE BACK DOOR. 

NICCI: Smoove is a math person, and comes from yeah the corporate world and business and all of that. 

SMOOVE: The computer stuff, and the payroll, and paying taxes and all the boring shit. Nicci took charge of a lot of the art, creative, you know, show side of things. 

NICCI: And so we realized that at that point that our, our skill sets were complementary to each other.

SARAH: BUT NEITHER OF THEM REALLY KNEW HOW TO RUN A BAR.

NICCI: Truly truly it really was just like, like making shit up as we went along of figuring out you know, everything, like figuring out what what beer is to order, and like what drinks to offer and what entertainment to have. And when we were going to be open, like our hours change so many times the first two years. We were not business people in any sense of the word.

SARAH: IN THAT FIRST YEAR, NICCI AND SMOOVE HAD A THIRD BUSINESS PARTNER AS WELL: KEVIN, FROM THE MEMORIAL.

NICCI: He was a gay man, a cis white gay man, and kind of had his own idea and agenda about things that Smoove and I didn't always agree with. 

SARAH: KEVIN’S INFLUENCE BROUGHT IN A MORE CIS-GAY-MALE CROWD.

NICCI: I mean it was like the DJs that we were having, and just like the connections that our former business partner was making, and the people that he was trying to pull in there.

SARAH: FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS, THAT NICCI AND SMOOVE DON’T LIKE TO DISCUSS, KEVIN LEFT THE BAR SHORTLY AFTER THEY OPENED. THAT’S WHEN NICCI AND SMOOVE WERE REALLY ABLE TO CREATE THE INCLUSIVE, QUEER SPACE THEY HAD IMAGINED. 

NICCI: It got it got a lot more feminist, and a lot more just like queer in general, you know, we neither one of us really wanted to have a quote unquote gay bar. I really wanted a queer space specifically. You know, that was specifically inclusive to trans folks. 

SARAH: THEY DID THIS BY LETTING THE COMMUNITY TAKE THE LEAD ON WHAT KIND OF PROGRAMMING, ENTERTAINMENT, AND VALUES THEY WANTED TO SEE AT THE BACK DOOR

NICCI: That's what that's really what really changed the type of our culture firmly got planted, is is just by creating a space that allows the community to create their own space, if that makes sense. 

SMOOVE: Yes, that was a big deal. And also, like, you know, putting our foot down about, no, we're not gonna allow people, you know, we're not putting in a gloryhole in the bathroom. That is not what we want. happening in here. We want everybody to feel comfortable, we're going to make the bathrooms gender neutral. 

SARAH: AND TODAY? THE BACK DOOR IS THE ONLY SPACE OF ITS KIND IN THE BLOOMINGTON AREA.

NICCI: It's rural Indiana, you know, basically, anytime you're outside of like, you go five minutes outside of Bloomington, which is just this little tiny town, and it's, it's pretty scary for queer folks. 

SARAH: THERE ARE A FEW OTHER QUEER SPACES THAT HAVE COME AND GONE IN DOWNTOWN BLOOMINGTON. MOST RECENTLY, A BAR CALLED UNCLE ELIZABETH’S CLOSED ITS DOORS 2014, LEAVING THE BACK DOOR AS THE ONLY REMAINING DEDICATED QUEER SPACE IN AT LEAST A 50-MILE-RADIUS.

NICCI: That in and of itself is kind of a huge responsibility to kind of make sure that we're being inclusive to everybody in the community as much as we can. And really making it welcoming to as many people in the community as much as we can, while maybe making it specifically unwelcoming to people that might be in the community that we don't want to support. 

FOR A BAR LIKE THE BACK DOOR TO STAY OPEN FOR 8 YEARS, SEEMS CLOSE TO A MIRACLE. NICCI THINKS CHRISTIAN, WHO BROUGHT THEM AND SMOOVE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE, HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

NICCI:I also I also like to think that our friend was bestowing us some gifts from beyond the veil.

RACHEL: Oh look how cute it is. Right Is this it? I don't think this is it. 

SARAH: WE HAD TROUBLE FINDING THE BACK DOOR AT FIRST, AS THE BAR IS QUITE LITERALLY ACCESSED THROUGH THE BACK DOOR OF THE BUILDING

RACHEL: The Back Door?

MAN ON STREET: It’s the back of the building, down the alley-way...

SARAH: WE GOT DIRECTIONS FROM SOMEONE OUTSIDE ONE OF THE BARS IN THE FRONT. APPARENTLY, THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENS A LOT.

SMOOVE: They get a lot of confused gays over there. 

SARAH: THAT’S SMOOVE AGAIN. WE MET UP WITH HER AT THE REAL BACK DOOR A FEW MINUTES LATER. 

SARAH: Hi!

SMOOVE: Hi!

SARAH: How are you?

SMOOVE: Good. Welcome.

SARAH: Good to see you.

SARAH: SMOOVE IS QUITE THE CHARACTER. EVEN MORE-SO THAN YOUR AVERAGE LESBIAN BAR OWNER. 

SMOOVE: I’m a dyke that wears like a uniform. 

SARAH: TONIGHT, SHE’S WEARING A BLUE ADIDAS TRACKSUIT, HER SIGNATURE LOOK.

SMOOVE: Two outfits: shorts and a t-shirt or a tracksuit. That’s it.

JEN: How many tracksuits do you have?

SMOOVE: 15

JEN: I was gonna say more than a dozen

SARAH: SHE ALSO ROCKS A HORSESHOE MOUSTACHE

SMOOVE: The mustache is because I got tired of dealing with it, number one. Number two,  during lockdown, I watched Tiger King....and I was like...

JEN: Obsessed? 

SMOOVE: ...I wonder if I can do that. The answer is yes. But it is weird cause people always think I’m trans. I just have a mustache. 

SARAH: SO SMOOVE SHOWS US AROUND HER BAR, STARTING OUTSIDE ON THE PATIO, WHICH IS A WHOLE FENCED IN LOT IN FRONT OF THE BAR. THERE’S A HUGE GOLDEN GIRLS MURAL ON ONE SIDE AND AN ARRAY OF COLORFUL SHOWER CURTAINS SHIELDING THE PATIO FROM THE STREET.  ONCE INSIDE THE BACK DOOR, IT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE IF LISA FRANK WERE TO OPEN A DIVE BAR. 

SMOOVE: I wanted a place where there's no question that you're queer when you come in. 

JEN: Success.

SARAH: THE WALLS ARE PAINTED WITH ZEBRA STRIPES

NICCI: Which now it's kitschy and fun. But like was just that way we we painted I hated it. We painted it for that. That first New Year's Eve party that we had before we were officially opened this like, like animal themed, like wild out fuckin New Year's Eve party.

SMOOVE: One of our bartenders was a graffiti artist. We're like, we have enough money for some cans of spray paint. The walls were already white.

NICCI: So he's like, Well, why don't I just like, why don't I just zebra stripe them. And we were like, okay, and I was like, This is terr--I walked in the next day. I was like, This is awful. I was like, this is this is truly awful. I was like, Okay, this is the first thing we're changing. And it never changed.

SARAH: A LOT OF THE ORIGINAL DECOR IS WHAT MAKES THE AESTHETIC OF THE BACK DOOR SO FUN.

NICCI: So it was zebra striped walls, couches, church pews. And like, random old old pieces of furniture that were left in--it was a VFW bingo hall--that just had been left there by the VFW folks, by the veterans.

SARAH: NICCI’S AN ARTIST. AND THEIR RADICAL-FEMINIST-QUEER-ART IS ALSO A HUGE PART OF THE BAR’S DECOR. THE BATHROOMS, FOR EXAMPLE, ARE PLASTERED WITH NICCI’S ORIGINAL COLLAGES: A LIFE-SIZE PHOTO OF ANGELA DAVIS SAYING “RADICAL SIMPLY MEANS GRASPING THINGS AT THE ROOT,” A POSTER OF ZOE LEANORD’S POEM “I WANT A DYKE FOR PRESIDENT,” AND THE WORDS “NO MERCY FOR THE PATRIARCHY” IN BIG BLOCK LETTERS.

BUT NICCI THEMSELVES, STEPPED DOWN FROM ARTISTIC DIRECTING A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, WHEN THEIR PARTNER GOT A JOB IN LOS ANGELES. BUT AT THAT POINT, NICCI WAS READY TO MOVE ON.

NICCI: The bar life was really was taking its toll on me mentally and physically in a way that I couldn't keep up with anymore. And then, you know, take all of that and pour a shit ton of booze on top of it. And that's what, that's what bar life is. And, you know, everybody is drinking all the time. And I know that I that towards the end there I was, I was really drinking all the time. And it wasn't, it wasn't a good scene for me. Part of the reason I needed to pull back was that it became a coping mechanism.

SARAH: SO FOR NICCI’S MENTAL HEALTH, IT FELT LIKE THE RIGHT DECISION TO MOVE TO CALIFORNIA AND LEAVE THE BAR BEHIND. AND IT’S NOT LIKE THE BACK DOOR HAS EVER OFFERED MUCH FINANCIAL STABILITY

NICCI: The reward, the payoff is never like really money in your hand because that's just going to pay off another debt. You know, it's just like, we're just doing it for, for the art and for the community and for the love and I learned that that only, that can only sustain you for so long. 

SARAH: NICCI IS STILL A CO-OWNER OF THE BACK DOOR, BUT THEY’RE PRETTY HANDS-OFF. SMOOVE HANDLES THE DAY-TO-DAY BUSINESS IN-PERSON. AND THEY’RE ALL STILL STRUGGLING TO MAKE A PROFIT.

SMOOVE: It's always something you know, like, we need a new fridge, we need a new kegerator, we need like, always, you're always putting money back into it. 

SARAH: EVEN AT THEIR BUSIEST, THE BACK DOORS RECORD YEARLY PROFIT WAS AROUND EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS. AND MOST YEARS, THEY PRETTY MUCH BREAK EVEN.

SMOOVE: I mean, people see it, you know, busy and poppin and they're like, Oh, you guys are rolling in it. I'm like, No, we're paying everyone a living wage and like, we're not really making. We're making enough to cover our expenses.

SARAH: A LIVING WAGE. IT’S ACTUALLY QUITE RARE FOR A BAR TO PAY THEIR EMPLOYEES A REASONABLE HOURLY WAGE. THAT’S BECAUSE MINIMUM WAGE FOR TIPPED WORKERS, LIKE BARTENDERS AND SERVERS, IS SIGNIFICANTLY LOWER THAN REGULAR MINIMUM WAGE. 

SMOOVE: The minimum for service people in Indiana is $2.13 an hour. Plus tips. 

SARAH: SO MOST BARTENDERS IN INDIANA WILL NEVER ACTUALLY SEE AN HOURLY PAYCHECK, THEIR 2-BUCKS-AN-HOUR JUST GOES TO TAXES ON THEIR TIPS.  BUT NOT AT THE BACK DOOR. THEY USED TO PAY THE STATE MINIMUM WAGE, $7.25-AN-HOUR PLUS TIPS. BUT EVERYONE GOT RAISES AFTER COVID. SO NOW, THE BACK DOOR’S BARTENDERS MAKE $10-AN-HOUR.

NICCI: It's a college town, people are cheap, people don't tip well, drinks don't cost very much here, I mean drinks during the week are only like 2-5 dollars at most. So all of that kind of shakes out to the fact that, you know, bartenders just aren't making anything and it was really important to me. 

SARAH: THE CHEAP DRINKS AND THE COLLEGE CROWD ALSO SHAKES OUT TO A DANGEROUS DRINKING CULTURE IN BLOOMINGTON. 

NICCI: Indiana University is a notorious like party town, or party University

THAT HAS REALLY SHAPED THE ENVIRONMENT AT THE BARS DOWNTOWN. FOR THE WORSE. 

NICCI: Apparently, roofies are very easy to come by, in this town. Like nightly, I would hear stories about this happening to people here. And so is just and it just became a part of the culture and be like, Oh, well, you know, that's what, that's what girls get if they go out to a frat party.

SARAH: BUT NICCI AND SMOOVE NEVER EXPECTED TO HAVE THIS PROBLEM IN THEIR OWN BAR

NICCI: We knew that there was a problem in Bloomington in a larger capacity. But I, I know that I greatly underestimated what was happening within our own walls.

SARAH: THEN, ONE DAY, NICCI GOT A PHONE CALL THAT WOULD FOREVER CHANGE THINGS AT THE BACK DOOR. 

NICCI: Someone, thank goodness, at the women's shelter felt comfortable enough to call me on the phone. This was I think, April of 2014. She said, we've had four incidents of sexual assault in the last month that people say originated from your bar, The Back Door. And that made me want to throw up and cry at the same time, of course. And so that's like, that, at that point, it was like we can't, we can't just not do anything. 

SARAH: SO NICCI AND SMOOVE SPRUNG INTO ACTION. WITH THE SUPPORT OF THE WOMEN’S SHELTER, THE WHOLE STAFF WENT THROUGH A BYSTANDER INTERVENTION TRAINING PROGRAM. AND TO REALLY DRIVE THEIR MESSAGE HOME THEY STARTED A CALL-AND-RESPONSE CHANT, THAT THE HOST WOULD SHOUT AT THE END OF EVERY SHOW.

NICCI: Consent is what? F***ing mandatory! Yeah, that’s what it was.

SARAH: BUT LIKE I SAID, PREDATORY CULTURE HAD DEEP ROOTS IN BLOOMINGTON. SO NICCI AND SMOOVE TOOK DRASTIC ACTION TO TRY TO CHANGE THAT AT THEIR BAR.

NICCI: We had a wall of shame. And so if you were violent in this space, if you, you know, violated people's boundaries, if you were known as a sexual offender. There were a number of different, like serious offenses, these aren't people, you know, just being shitty, or whatever this is dangerous people, then you got your picture printed out and your name, and you got put on the wall of shame. And that kind of let the public know who to look out for and also, who is definitely not allowed in this space which also is something that people could look for because there were plenty of people in town at the time that felt nervous just to go out because they didn't know if they were going to run into any one of these number of people. And they were on the wall of shame at The Back Door and knew that they were banned. So that was a safe space for them.

SARAH: THE WALL WAS INTENSE. BUT IT WORKED. 

SMOOVE: Public shaming, it can be very helpful and useful in certain, you know, if you're using it in the correct way, you know, if there's a known predator that a bunch of women have reported, it's helpful to know like, hey, if you see this dude, stay away from them.

SARAH: OF COURSE, THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT ONTO THE WALL OF SHAME WERE NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

SMOOVE: People get shitty and threaten us with lawyers, and you can't put my picture up like that. And we're like, it's our business, we can do whatever we want. People need to know about your bad behavior. Sorry. 

SARAH: AND IT WENT BEYOND THE THREAT OF A LAWSUIT.

NICCI: There was about a year and half that was a serious battle where people were angry and coming for Smoove and I personally. A few people got pretty stalkery which was kind of scary. A restraining order or two was filed like things got really intense for a while. And then like I said, eventually, like the culture just caught on. Shady people knew to just stay the f*** away from The Back Door.

SARAH: NICCI AND SMOOVE ENDED UP LEADING THE CHARGE TO SHIFT THE CULTURE AROUND CONSENT IN BLOOMINGTON

NICCI: We were invited on local radio and podcasts and things like that also to talk about how we've dealt because then then we became kind of a bit of a touchstone for other people, other bars and how they wanted to deal with the issue of consent and assault within within their walls. 

SARAH: THE BACK DOOR SET AN EXAMPLE FOR WHAT A BAR COULD LOOK LIKE WITH CONSENT AS A CENTRAL REQUIREMENT.

NICCI: The fact that our bar was known as being this really fun bar, but we still had really strong messages of what consent was and was not. And what was going to be tolerated and what wasn't, I think, sent a new message that you can, you can still have a really fun spot, but there's still going to be rules, you know, involved and we're still going to look out for everybody else.

SARAH: TODAY, THE WALL OF SHAME NO LONGER EXISTS. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO.

NICCI: That worked for the first few years and then once we kind of like established the culture that things absolutely were not going to be tolerated. We we took that down and moved on from that.

SARAH: BURNIE MAC, A DRAG KING WHO USED TO FREQUENT THE BACK DOOR, ALWAYS FELT SAFE THERE. EVEN AFTER THE WALL GOT TAKEN DOWN.

BURNIE: There was a time like when I wasn't performing, where there was somebody who was essentially making a lot of people uncomfortable, like specifically like femmes and they were obviously like, very inebriated etc. etc.

SARAH: SO BERNIE BROUGHT THIS TO THE ATTENTION OF THE DOOR PERSON. 

BURNIE: The door person had been watching this person, you know, all night. And so when I said something you just like right away when I grabbed them, like they were no longer welcome. So I didn't feel like there's this apprehension of like, oh, well, I'm an afab performer and I need to, like, deal with it myself. 

SARAH: BURNIE DOESN’T LIVE IN BLOOMINGTON ANYMORE BUT WHEN HE DID BACK IN 2015. HE HAD A REALLY POSITIVE EXPERIENCE AT THE BACK DOOR. 

BURNIE: For me, being like a black, trans, like performer, I have a really hard time being in certain spaces just because of one like being a drag king, but also just like being a like black queer person. And so I think, for me, I mean, I've always felt pretty welcomed there, which is really rare, especially being a drag king. At least in my experiences in the drag community in general, there's still a lot of misogyny, there's still a lot of gatekeeping and just double standards for a lot of spaces. 

SARAH: BURNIE IS ONE OF MANY PERFORMERS AT THE BACK DOOR. FROM DRAG SHOWS TO KARAOKE NIGHTS TO PERFORMANCE ART. THEY HAVE PERFORMANCES AT LEAST 3 TIMES A WEEK. IT’S GREAT THAT BURNIE WAS ABLE TO FIND A SAFE SPACE LIKE THAT AT THE BACK DOOR. BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT IS NOT THE CASE FOR EVERYONE. 

REMEMBER VERNA VENDETTA? THE DRAG KING WHO PAID FOR A DIVORCE WITH THEIR TIPS? THAT’S PART OF WHY THEY STOPPED PERFORMING SO OFTEN AT THE BACK DOOR. THEY FELT THAT THE MISOGYNY IN THE DRAG COMMUNITY HAD INFILTRATED THE BAR. 

VERNA: We had noticed that there was a really big discrepancy in the way that we were treated versus the way that the drag queens were treated. And it's just that no one had ever really noticed before, because there wasn't a lot of commingling between us.

SARAH: IT ALL CAME TO LIGHT BEFORE A SHOW ONE NIGHT IN 2018. VERNA WAS HANGING OUT BACKSTAGE WITH SOME DRAG QUEENS THAT WERE ALSO PERFORMING.

VERNA: I said, Hey, I'm going up to the bar to get a drink. Does anybody want anything? And they were like, Why are you taking your wallet? And I was like to buy the drinks. And they were like, Why are you buying your own drinks? I was like, What are you talking about? And so from there we learned that not only had the drag kings been buying our own entry fees, buying our own drinks, and then when we are booked in shows buying our own drinks. The drag queens had, quoting one of them, like, I haven't paid to get into this bar or for any drinks since I showed up the first night here in heels. 

SARAH: VERNA COMPARED NOTES WITH SOME OF THE DRAG QUEENS AND FIVE OTHER DRAG KINGS. TO CONFIRM WITH THEM: THE DRAG KINGS HAD BEEN PAYING FOR THEIR DRINKS AND COVERS, WHILE THE QUEENS WERE NOT. 

CORVIN: Which is a small thing.I don't drink a lot when I perform because I need to perform. 

SARAH: THIS IS CORVIN ROSE, ONE OF THE OTHER KINGS, WHO SHARED THE SAME EXPERIENCES AS VERNA. 

CORVIN: However, it was a very concrete thing that we could point to when me and the other AFAB performers got together to talk to the owner 

SARAH: SO CORVIN, VERNA AND FOUR OTHER DRAG KINGS SET UP A MEETING WITH NICCI, THE ARTISTIC DIRECTOR AND POINT PERSON FOR THIS AT THE TIME. WE HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO REACH THREE OF THOSE OTHER KINGS, BUT WE’VE CONFIRMED A LOT OF THIS WITH THE FOURTH KING, WHO PREFERS TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS. ACCORDING TO NICCI, THIS WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. NO ONE HAD BEEN TOLD TO TREAT THE KINGS AND QUEENS DIFFERENTLY.

NICCI: I think part of that was just the traditional drag queens just came in and kind of took whatever they wanted and I think some of the AFAB performers were a lot more timid and just didn't know to do that, if that makes sense. It was never like a planned thing. The drag queens were just like I’m just coming in and the door staff would be like whatever.  And I think that the AFAB performers could have done the same thing they just didn't. And I think part of that is being socialized as a woman. Whether or not that was their gender identity at the time you know it was just like the way that we’re raised. 

SARAH: AND THAT’S WHAT NICCI TOLD THE KINGS. HERE’S VERNA: 

VERNA: They said well, you just need to be being a way bigger like b**** about all of this. Like you need to show up to the door person and be like, my name is Verna vendetta and and walk, just walk in. And I was like, Well, I tried to do that last night, and I said it'd be $5. 

SARAH: ANOTHER ISSUE ADDRESSED IN THIS MEETING WERE BOOKINGS.

VERNA: I started noticing, because I'm a very visual person, and I would see the show posters come out. And so on the posters, I'm like, if you get to book four to six people in each cast, why are four or five of them, or six of them all drag queens all the time? 

SARAH: IF YOU LOOK AT THE BACK DOOR’S INSTAGRAM OR WEBSITE, THERE’S NO DENYING TRADITIONAL DRAG QUEENS HAVE MUCH MORE OF A PRESENCE. IT’S HARD TO FIND MORE THAN ONE DRAG KING ON A SHOW POSTER AT A TIME, AND EVEN THAT ONLY APPEARS EVERY FEW POSTS. 

NICCI: I think in any community, you're just gonna have like, tons more, you know, cis, men drag queens, and you're gonna have anyone of any other variation from that. So the ratio is just like, way higher as far as people who want, you know, stage time. 

SARAH: NICCI SAYS THE DRAG QUEENS ALSO DEMANDED MORE GIGS, IN THE SAME WAY THEY DEMANDED FREE DRINKS AND COVERS.

NICCI: It was often the drag queens that were like, booked me booked me booked me do it, but we do it, do it, do it, do it, you know, and finally, like, you're just like fine. You know, instead of just like this more passive, like, I would like a booking at some point and then get despondent because you haven't been called in three months. But if you don't call me you're not on my mind anymore. And that wasn't personal. That was just one person being overwhelmed. 

SARAH: I ASKED NICCI WHY THE BACK DOOR WASN’T WORKING HARDER TO ELEVATE THE PERFORMERS THAT DIDN’T HAVE AS LOUD OF A VOICE. WHETHER WE’RE TALKING ABOUT GIGS OR DRINKS, DOESN’T IT MAKE SENSE FOR A RADICAL FEMINIST QUEER SPACE TO TRY AND CORRECT THAT SORT OF THING? 

NICCI: Yeah, yeah, I hear you but they weren’t the only marginalized people in town and we had a staff of almost 30 and an entertainment network of a hundred and so not only were we dealing with performer drama but it was just like regular staff issues and then you have your job on top that. So um yeah you know like of course you’re trying to like take care of and advocate for people but at a certain point when everyone is low on resources, they're just...you can't expect that. I mean, you can expect it to, to a certain degree, but like, at a certain point, it's not like any of these people were children. Everyone's a grown ass adult. And everyone was given a lot of opportunity. And I even, you know, made an effort to work with some of the artists that I thought were not fit for, for weekend shows to like, work with them independently and you know, as a director and sit there and watch them perform and give them notes and encourage them, like I did that work. But, you know, like, at a certain point, I can't make someone a better entertainer if they're not making themselves a better entertainer. And I'm not going to put you on stage if you're not, if you're not fit.

SARAH: SO WHAT ENDED UP COMING OUT OF THIS MEETING? VERNA AND CORVIN SAY NOTHING REALLY CHANGED. IN FACT, THE ENVIRONMENT GOT WORSE. ESPECIALLY BETWEEN THE KINGS AND QUEENS. HERE’S VERNA: 

VERNA: And so then it became this big rumor that like, the drag kings want to be booked more, but they want to do less work, they want to do less acts, they don't work as hard to get into drag as we do. They want to be paid more money than us. And now we're all in trouble, the drag queens, because we don't get free drinks anymore. And so then they had this like, huge, like, problem with us, because we had like, ruined the free drinking for them.

SARAH: IF THAT NIGHT WITH VERNA AND THE DRAG QUEENS WAS THE START OF ALL OF THIS, THE 2019 DISNEY SHOW SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN THE CLIMAX. EVERY YEAR, THE BACK DOOR PUTS ON A BIG DISNEY INSPIRED CABARET.

SINGE: We kind of like all started talking to each other more and going, Hey, wait a minute, this doesn't make sense. This doesn't add up. Which is why I started taking notes after the Disney show because it was like, wait, this, this doesn't make sense. 

SARAH: THIS IS SINGE. AN AFAB BURLESQUE PERFORMER AND SHOW PRODUCER. SINGE PERFORMED IN THE 2019 DISNEY SHOW, EARNING $50 FOR ONE SOLO NUMBER AS SHOW PAY, NOT INCLUDING TIPS. BUT FROM TALKING TO HER FELLOW PERFORMERS, SHE REALIZED THEY WERE ALL BEING PAID DIFFERENT AMOUNTS. 

SINGE: So I literally just went down the cast list and either talked to people in person or sent the message and was like Hey, I don't mean to be nosy but how much were you paid for the show because something seems a little bit wonky let me I'm pulling up my notes real quick I'm counting 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14 people.

SARAH: ACCORDING TO SINGE’S NOTES FROM THAT TIME- SOME MADE $25 FOR ONE SOLO, ONE MADE $40, WHILE OTHERS MADE $50. AND FOR TWO ACTS, ONE MADE $60 WHILE OTHERS MADE 75. IT SEEMS LIKE A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY TO WORRY ABOUT. BUT THERE WAS NO RHYME OR REASON TO IT FROM WHAT SINGE COULD SEE. THERE WERE ALSO TWO GUEST PERFORMERS IN THIS MIX. BOTH UP-AND-COMING. BOTH HAD BOTH PARTICIPATED IN THE SAME COMPETITION, IN ORDER TO WIN SPOTS IN THE DISNEY SHOW.

CORVIN: There were two performers. One AFAB one AMAB 

SARAH: THIS IS CORVIN AGAIN

CORVIN: Both connected to popular drag houses here. Both had beautiful routines that they put their heart and soul into.

SARAH: BUT ACCORDING TO A SCREENSHOT FROM SINGE’S MESSAGES BACK THEN, THE BACK DOOR PAID THE AMAB PERFORMER $50 AND THE AFAB PERFORMER $25. NICCI AND THOSE TWO PERFORMERS WERE NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT ON THE EVENTS OF THE 2019 DISNEY SHOW. BUT WE WERE ABLE TO CONFIRM THIS STORY WITH CORVIN, VERNA, SINGE AND SCREENSHOTS FROM VARIOUS NOTES AND MESSAGES AT THE TIME. CORVIN AND VERNA DON’T REMEMBER SPECIFIC NUMBERS, JUST THAT THE TRADITIONAL DRAG QUEEN WAS PAID DOUBLE.

VERNA: And both having just as many costume pieces or, you know, a complicated mix, you know, or whatever. So, basically, like they believed, and we all believe that they had done the equivalent amount of work as each other and should have been paid evenly, and that they were not.

SARAH: THE THING IS, I’M SURE EVERYTHING WE ARE TALKING ABOUT IS AN ISSUE AT ALMOST EVERY DRAG BAR. WHETHER THAT’S DUE TO A SCARCITY OF DRAG KINGS, INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY, OR THE GLORIFICATION OF DRAG QUEENS. HERE’S SMOOVE WITH A LITTLE MORE CONTEXT ON THAT:

SMOOVE: Everything about queer history, I mean it’s dominated by men. They had the money, they had the power that is still a thing. Unless you’re a man, you know an AMAB person doing drag, it’s not valid. Where even like Rupual is saying this. It permeates everything.

SARAH: PERSONALLY, I’VE ACTUALLY PERFORMED AS A DRAG KING. ONCE. AND, I REMEMBER BEING STOPPED AND CARDED TWICE ON MY WAY BACKSTAGE, WHILE MY DRAG QUEEN COUNTERPARTS BREEZED BY. AND WE WERE ALL IN DRAG. BUT TO ME, THE DIFFERENCE HERE, IS THAT THE BACK DOOR IS VERY PUBLICLY CLAIMING AND STRIVING TO BE A RADICAL FEMINIST, QUEER SPACE. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT. 

VERNA: It was exactly like what you wouldn't think would happen going into a bar like that? Because of the way that it's always been presented to the world.

CORVIN: You know, The Back Door could have been a great place. Cool queer bar. At first everybody felt welcome. Lots of lots of queer women, lots of like queer, lesbian align folks, including myself, like The Back Door is where I learned how to do drag, The Back Door was where I first felt consistently comfortable to be a queer person. But just like over time, like it just started to, like so many of our structures, started to replicate the same misogynistic, heteronormative bullshit, capitalist bullshit that our communities are trying to escape. And, you know, after a while, like, you know, I felt less and less comfortable being a brown lesbian there 

SARAH: AFTER THE DISNEY SHOW, CORVIN PRETTY MUCH STOPPED TAKING GIGS THERE. AND AROUND THAT SAME TIME, VERNA TOOK A BREAK FROM THE BACK DOOR. AND NOW, THEY JUST PERFORM THERE EVERY FEW MONTHS. AS WE MENTIONED EARLIER, NICCI HAS SINCE LEFT BLOOMINGTON. THEIR DECISION WASN’T DIRECTLY RELATED TO THE DRAG KINGS, BUT ALL OF THIS CONFLICT DIDN’T HELP.

NICCI: It's just dealing with a lot of different people and different needs all the time, and you end up sacrificing your own because you're the person, you know, you're like, the person in charge and the authority and supposed to know what to do and do the right thing. 

SARAH: SO IT WAS SMOOVE’S TURN TO TAKE OVER.

SARAH: I mean I knew that you know this was something I was going to most likely be in charge of. And I wanted to know you know like what the hell was going on. Right, because if I don't know I can't do much.

SARAH: SHE STARTED BY REACHING OUT TO SOME OF THE PERFORMERS THAT HAD STOPPED TAKING GIGS THERE. LIKE VERNA.

VERNA: Smoove had noticed that a lot of us weren't coming around anymore. You know, the AFAB entertainers. and wanting to know why. And so she sat down with each of us individually, she asked, you know, would, would you mind meeting with me and telling me why we don't see you around anymore. And so I told Smoove the issues that I had. And she seemed genuinely upset by that. 

SMOOVE: And I was like, Oh, my God, that should never been a thing. You know, and making sure that, you know, everyone gets their drink tickets, and if they want to bring people just let me know, and I'll make sure they're on the list or, you know what I mean, those sorts of things.

SARAH: BUT THIS ALL HAPPENED JUST BEFORE COVID HIT. AND THE BAR AND ALL OF ITS PERFORMANCES TOOK A LONG HIATUS. SO SMOOVE COULDN’T PUT ANY PLANS INTO ACTION RIGHT AWAY. NOW THAT THE BACK DOOR HAS RE-OPENED, SMOOVE IS STILL TRYING TO DO BETTER.

SMOOVE: I mean just by listening to folks having an open door policy like if something's going on, let me know. And I think part of the problem that Verna experienced before was that it was not really dealt with at all.

SARAH: SMOOVE SAYS SHE HAS BEEN WORKING WITH PROMOTERS TO DIVERSIFY THEIR SHOWS. 

SMOOVE: In terms of like, you know, actually booking AFAB performers there just seems to be sort of a lack of them in Bloomington right now.

SARAH: IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE THAT BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE CORVIN AND VERNA STILL DON’T REALLY WANT TO PERFORM AT THE BACK DOOR. VERNA SAYS THEY’RE BURNT OUT.

VERNA: And maybe it is now, the place that it touts itself to be and that we all believed for so long that it must be. I feel like it's got its best potential to do that, and to be that space. But it is going to take more work than Smoove alone can put into it. And, like, I'm so burnt out and everybody that was in that fight with me is so burnt out. And we don't know what to do. And so I'm just, I'm just sort of watching things happen and, like, hoping that it takes care of itself on its own.

SARAH: WE KNOW THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE CURRENT AFAB PERFORMERS IS GETTING FREE DRINKS AND COVERS WITHOUT ANY PUSH BACK.

SANTANA: Yeah, they let me in for free. I, yeah.

SARAH: THIS IS SANTANA SWORD, SHE STARTED PERFORMING AT THE BACK DOOR WITHIN THE PAST YEAR. 

SANTANA: I had heard from trusted sources in my eyes that there had been you know some weirdness towards the idea of an AFAB performer being there. However I have not experienced disrespect in this form or anything to my knowledge. 

SARAH: AND BURNIE MAC, THE DRAG KING WE HEARD FROM AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE, NEVER HAD AN ISSUE WITH SHOW PAY. HE WOULD EVEN GET A TRAVEL STIPEND TO COME IN FROM OUT OF TOWN. 

BURNIE: I was getting paid way more than I was getting paid pretty much anywhere else at that point in time, to be honest.

SARAH: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OUR DEFINITION OF A LESBIAN BAR HAS REALLY BEEN CALLED INTO QUESTION. THE BACK DOOR CERTAINLY DOES NOT CHECK A LOT OF THE SAME BOXES AS THE OTHER BARS ON OUR LIST. IT IS PARTIALLY LESBIAN OWNED, AND SELF-IDENTIFIES AS A QUEER, FEMINIST SPACE. BUT EVEN DISCOUNTING THE ALLEGATIONS WE HEARD ABOUT TODAY, HISTORICALLY, THE BACK DOOR HAS NEVER IDENTIFIED AS A LESBIAN BAR OR EVEN AS WOMEN-CENTRIC. WHICH REALLY SETS IT APART FROM THE OTHER BARS. 

SMOOVE: I don’t know, maybe it’s because we’re newer? We've only been around since 2013. 

SARAH: IT ALSO OPENED RELATIVELY RECENTLY. SO THE BACK DOOR WAS NEVER OPEN DURING THE HAY-DAY OF THE LESBIAN BAR.

SMOOVE: At that time, I was like, we can't be exclusionary, we need to--this needs to be a place for everyone in our community. And there’s a lot of letters in that alphabet. I've never been a fan of like, that sort of gatekeeping. 

SARAH: THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT IN BLOOMINGTON. SINCE, AS WE’VE MENTIONED, THERE ISN’T ANOTHER QUEER SPACE IN THE AREA.

SMOOVE: If we only get one space, it kind of has to be for everyone. 

SARAH: SMOOVE HERSELF IS UNSURE HOW THE BACK DOOR ENDED UP ON A LIST OF LESBIAN BARS. 

SNOOVE: I have no idea. I honestly don't know. I mean, I identify as a big dyke. And I always have, and I'm the, you know, main owner here.

SARAH: THIS LIST WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IS THE ONE ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE LESBIAN BAR PROJECT.

SMOOVE: When they contacted us originally, I was like, Well, you know, we're queer bar. We're not really a lesbian bar, per se. Although there, you know, there are lesbians that come here, along with everyone else. 

SARAH: THAT’S THE REASON WE VISITED THE BACK DOOR TO BEGIN WITH. BECAUSE WE FOUND IT ON THE LESBIAN BAR PROJECT’S LIST. WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES UNTIL AFTER WE HAD BEEN THERE AND INTERVIEWED SO MANY VULNERABLE, GENUINE QUEER FOLKS ABOUT THEIR COMMUNITY THERE.

YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING: WHY EVEN AIR THIS IF IT DOESN’T SEEM TO LIVE UP TO WHAT WE MIGHT THINK OF AS A LESBIAN BAR? BUT IT’S TRICKY. BECAUSE OUR PURPOSE HAS NEVER BEEN TO GATEKEEP THE TERM LESBIAN BAR. 

WE SET OUT TO PRESERVE A SLIVER OF LESBIAN HISTORY AND CULTURE BY VISITING THIS SET OF BARS. AND THE BACK DOOR HAS BECOME PART OF THAT STORY. IN A LOT OF WAYS, IT EXEMPLIFIES THE MISOGYNY THAT SO MANY WOMEN AND GENDERQUEER PEOPLE FACE. EVEN IN SUPPOSEDLY SAFE SPACES. AND THAT IS A STORY WORTH TELLING.

SO YOU CERTAINLY DON’T HAVE TO THINK OF THE BACK DOOR AS ONE OF THE LAST LESBIAN BARS. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK BADLY ABOUT IT EITHER. IN FACT, YOU SHOULDN’T. IT IS A REALLY IMPORTANT, SAFE SPACE TO A LOT OF PEOPLE IN BLOOMINGTON, WHO REALLY NEED IT. 

SARAH: CRUISING IS REPORTED AND PRODUCED BY RACHEL KARP, JEN MCGINITY, AND ME, SARAH GABRIELLI, WITH MUSIC BY JOEY FREEMAN. FOLLOW US ALONG ON OUR ROAD TRIP AND SEE PICTURES AT OUR WEBSITE: CRUISINGPOD.COM OR FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA @CRUISINGPOD. THAT’S C-R-U-I-S-I-N-G-P-O-D. 

YOU CAN LISTEN WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS.

SPECIAL THANKS THIS WEEK TO SMOOVE, NICCI, VERNA, CORVIN, AND EVERYONE THAT WAS SO GENEROUS WITH THEIR TIME.