06: Nobody’s Darling | Chicago, IL

SARAH: SHIRLEY J DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS GAY UNTIL SHE WENT TO HER FIRST GAY BAR. THIS WAS THE EARLY 1970s, CHICAGO, AND SHIRLEY WAS 30 YEARS OLD.

SHIRLEY: What gave me is the first gay bar was like, Whoa, you know? They're, you know, I was like, made me feel like oh, there are people here that feel the way I was thinking okay.

SARAH: FROM THERE, SHIRLEY BECAME ENGRAINED IN LGBT NIGHTLIFE IN CHICAGO.

SHIRLEY: what appealed to me was that you can be free, you know, you want your own kind so to speak.

SARAH: SHE FOUND A BIG GROUP OF QUEER FRIENDS - PEOPLE SHE MET OUT AT THE BARS, THROUGH THEIR PARTNERS, AND THEIR PARTNERS PARTNERS. 

SHIRLEY: And so me and again, some of the friends I've met along the way. Gay guys and women, we kinda formed the group and we opened up this after hours club called The Warehouse … 

SARAH: THE IDEA WAS TO FIND A SPACE WHERE THEY COULD THROW QUEER DANCE PARTIES EVERY WEEKEND. AND SINCE IT WOULD JUST BE MUSIC AND DANCING, NO BAR, THEY COULD STAY OPEN WELL PAST WHEN OTHER CLUBS HAD TO CLOSE.

SHIRLEY AND HER FRIENDS WERE INSPIRED BY SIMILAR CLUBS THEY HAD BEEN TO IN NEW YORK.

SHIRLEY: we would frequent New York at least once a month. And just to go party, and lots of parties that were going on, they’d start at midnight and and last til like seven in the morning. We were just discussing, you know, we sitting around just you know, chatting like, me and you're chatting now. Okay? Came up with the ideas. Why don't we do this, you know, in Chicago, bring it to Chicago. And everybody's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

SARAH: SO THEY STARTED THROWING THESE PARTIES. ONCE A WEEK - EVERY SATURDAY - IN THE SAME SPACE. A LOFT THEY RENTED DOWNTOWN.

SHIRLEY: …and we turned it inti like a club, you know. It was just beautiful. Disco ball, and balloons. Just everything. It was our clubhouse, so to speak.

SARAH: LIKE A CLUBHOUSE, THE WAREHOUSE WAS MADE UP OF A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT ROOMS.

SHIRLEY: you come into this warehouse and you know, this industrial district. And then you open up the doors, and then you come in and we had everything set up. You couldn't really see the dance floor because we had like curtains to block it off. So when you came in, and you just saw, we even had a coat check, we had rooms where you could sit back and lay back like a lounge area, watch TV. And then if you want to chat with somebody you have, you know, just a room where you can sit and not, you know, be a part of the music. 

SARAH: AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ROOM AT THE WAREHOUSE WAS THE DANCE FLOOR.  

SHIRLEY: And once you would come through and open up the curtains. Here's this big old dance floor, people dancing, and lights going on and off. It was beautiful. 

SARAH: AND IN THE DJ BOOTH, HISTORY WAS BEING MADE. 

SHIRLEY: I don't know if you've heard of Frankie Knuckles. 

SARAH: I HADN’T. BUT I LOOKED HIM UP. FRANKIE KNUCKLES IS A DJ, OFTEN CALLED “THE GODFATHER OF HOUSE MUSIC.” A TYPE OF ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC, MADE POPULAR BY KNUCKLES.

SHIRLEY: it was a new genre of music after disco, which was house. 

SARAH: KNUCKLES WAS LIVING IN CHICAGO AT THE TIME. AND HE WAS FRIENDS WITH ONE OF THE OTHER OWNERS OF THE WAREHOUSE. SO THAT’S WHERE HE WOULD DJ AND EXPERIMENT WITH WHAT WE NOW KNOW OF AS HOUSE MUSIC.

SHIRLEY: It’s called house because when we open up the warehouse, people would say are you going to the house tonight? 

SARAH: SO WHEN YOU HEAR THE TERM HOUSE MUSIC, THAT’S ACTUALLY REFERRING TO THE WAREHOUSE. PEOPLE STARTED CALLING IT HOUSE MUSIC - AS IN, THE KIND OF MUSIC THEY PLAYED AT THE HOUSE. 

HERE’S A CLIP FROM KNUCKLES’ 2014 LECTURE AT RED BULL MUSIC ACADEMY. 

DJ KNUCKLES: I was in the car with a friend of mind going to his house on the south side, and we were at a stoplight and there was a tavern on the corner. It has a sign in the window that said we play house music. That was the first time I heard it. Well I saw it and I asked him what it was. And he said it’s that music you play down there at that club. I was like excuse me. He’s like that’s house music and I just went, oh, I didn’t realize it had a name. And so he was like well it’s the house that’s what everybody calls it. He was like that’s everybody's nickname for the place. And I just thought, ohh. 

SARAH: EVENTUALLY, THE GENRE BECAME REALLY POPULARIZED AND MAINSTREAM. BUT BACK THEN, SHIRLEY AND HER FRIENDS DIDN’T LET JUST ANYONE INTO THE WAREHOUSE. YOU HAD TO BE A MEMBER.

SHIRLEY: So you had to come to a party three times in a row to become a member. So we would get to know you, you know. And once you did that, you can just sign up as a member. And we had a guest list. So we would keep track of all the members. So every time we open up the doors, we would check off that person when they come in. And if they brought a guest, we would allow them to bring a guest or two. 

SARAH:  THAT’S HOW NON-MEMBERS WERE ABLE TO GET IN THREE TIMES IN A ROW. AS GUESTS OF A CURRENT MEMBER. THEY WANTED TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE INSIDE WAS EITHER QUEER, OR ACCEPTING OF QUEERNESS.

SHIRLEY: Even though it was, you know, men and women, boys and girls, we still had to worry, you know, a little bit.

SARAH:  AND AS A BLACK QUEER WOMAN, SHIRLEY HAD TO BE EVEN MORE CAREFUL. WHILE QUEER SPACES OFFERED A MUCH-NEEDED SAFE HAVEN, THEY WERE BY NO MEANS FREE OF RACISM

SHIRLEY: And for black, gay women, or lesbian women, it was harder to get in as a group to some of the bars that were open.

SARAH: SHE’S TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER CHICAGO GAY BARS AND CLUBS. SHIRLEY STOPPED RUNNING THE WAREHOUSE AROUND 1980. BUT AT SOME OF THESE OTHER BARS, SHIRLEY AND HER FRIENDS WOULD HAVE TO BREAK UP INTO GROUPS OF TWO AND GO IN SEPARATELY.

SHIRLEY: If it was more than two of you. And you were black. They would like they wouldn't let you in, you know. And so, it was a few of them like that. Yeah, well, that's the way it was back then. 

SARAH: TODAY, SHIRLEY IS A REGULAR AT NOBODY’S DARLING, A WOMEN-CENTRIC COCKTAIL BAR IN CHICAGO. IT’S WOMEN-OWNED, QUEER-OWNED, AND BLACK-OWNED.

SHIRLEY: that's why I say it's like a cheers bar to me. Because, you know, everybody knows my name it seems like, and even some of the patrons now they know me, you know, so, I’m meeting a lot of people and it's just fun. And it's, you know, it's really relaxed atmosphere, and they treat you real well, that, you know, very courteous, you know, very accommodating. And, and that's what we need. We need something like that. Someplace where you could just relax.

SARAH: THIS IS CRUISING. A PODCAST ABOUT THE LAST LESBIAN BARS IN THE U.S. MY NAME IS SARAH GABRIELLI AND I’M TRAVELLING TO EACH ONE OF THEM WITH MY TWO FRIENDS AND CHOSEN FAMILY.

THIS IS STOP NUMBER 6, NOBODY’S DARLING. 

ALICE WALKER: 

“Be nobody’s darling;

Be an outcast.

Take the contradictions

Of your life

And wrap around

You like a shawl,

To parry stones

To keep you warm.”

SARAH: CHICAGO’S WOMEN-CENTRIC COCKTAIL BAR WAS NAMED AFTER AN ALICE WALKER POEM: BE NOBODY’S DARLING. 

ALICE WALKER: It’s called be nobody’s darling.

SARAH: ANGELA BARNES CAME UP WITH THE NAME. SHE IS ONE OF THE CO-OWNERS OF NOBODY’S DARLING.

RENAUDA:  Angela sent it to me and I was like oh my god this is it. 

SARAH: THIS IS RENAUDA RIDDLE SPEAKING NOW, THE OTHER CO-OWNER.

RENAUDA: She sent me the poem, the name. And I instantly was like, Oh, yeah, this is it. We, this is this is golden right here. I'm from the south. So my mom always calls me darling. The poem itself, you know, being an outcast, you know, all those things, just speak to, to who we are, and you know, what we wanted to bring to the bar and the space.

SARAH: THE SPACE ITSELF IS CHIC AND MINIMALIST. 

THE ENTIRE TEXT OF THE ALICE WALKER POEM IS SCRAWLED ON A BIG CHALKBOARD THERE. THAT’S ON YOUR LEFT, WHEN YOU WALK INTO NOBODY’S DARLING. TO YOUR RIGHT IS THE BAR, PAINTED A RUST RED. AND BEHIND THAT? A WALL OF MIRRORED PANELS AND A LARGER-THAN-LIFE PAINTING OF THE BAR’S LOGO: THE SILHOUETTE OF A WOMAN’S FACE WITH A MARTINI GLASS IN FRONT. 

THE EVENING WE WERE IN TOWN, ANGELA AND RENAUDA HELD COURT AT A HIGH-TOP TABLE AT THE FRONT CORNER OF THE BAR. YOU GET THE SENSE THAT’S WHERE THEY ALWAYS HANG OUT – DRINKING AND CHATTING WITH FRIENDS AND PATRONS. THEY BOTH HAVE H.B.I.C. VIBES ABOUT THEM. IF YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT THAT STAND FOR, LOOK IT UP. BUT THEY LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF PEOPLE YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW. 

ANGELA WAS THE ONE WHO GREETED US AND SHOWED US AROUND EARLIER IN THE DAY.

SARAH: Walking in and ordering ANGELA HAS BEEN ATTRACTED TO BARS SINCE SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL. NOT BECAUSE OF THE ALCOHOL - SHE WAS DRINKING MOCKTAILS - BUT MORE THE MIXOLOGY AND HOSPITALITY OF IT ALL.

ANGELA: my earliest sort of bar experience, which was kind of cute was the fact that we would--we went to school on the near north side of Chicago. And oddly, at that time, we had an open campus. And so at lunchtime, you know, we could go anywhere, and we would stop by my friend's dad's bar,... so he could give her lunch money…. And sometimes what he would do is make us these kiddie cocktails. Of course, we didn't know they were kiddie cocktails at the time, that had at least, you know, I would say 20 maraschino cherries and Sprite. And I just thought that was the coolest thing. 

SARAH: THOSE KIDDIE COCKTAILS REALLY STUCK WITH ANGELA. IN THE BACK OF HER MIND, SHE KIND OF ALWAYS WANTED TO BARTEND.

ANGELA: as I grew up, you know, I was kind of very much into making drinks for friends and different things like that. And I thought, Oh, my God, I can totally bartend. Turns out, it's harder than I thought. So that’s been a lesson. 

SARAH: HER CHILDHOOD FRIEND, WHOSE DAD WAS THE BAR OWNER, ENDED UP GOING INTO THE INDUSTRY AS WELL. AND ANGELA THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE HER CHANCE. 

ANGELA: I kept asking her if I could bartend and she kept telling me, no. And, and so, you know, I sort of secretly harbored this desire to, you know, figure out how I could, you know, bartend, somebody wouldn't say no to me. 

SARAH: ANGELA WAS BORN AND RAISED ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO.

GROWING UP, SHE REMEMBERS HEARING ABOUT THE ONE GAY BAR IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD, JEFFERY PUB.

ANGELA: This was one of those places where, you know, you had to go to the door and ring the doorbell and they kind of figure out if you're a threat? Right, you know, and and then let you in. And while no one, you know, as I was growing up, made any derogatory comments, you know, there was always that comment of, oh, and, you know, Jeffrey Pub, right, you know, just kind of like, you know, that it's different, right. It's a different kind of bar, but you're not really quite sure--what do you mean by that?

SARAH: BUT ANGELA DIDN’T GO TO ANY OF THESE BARS - OR EVEN COME OUT AS GAY - UNTIL AFTER COLLEGE. 

SHE GOT HER UNDERGRAD DEGREE FROM WELLESLEY COLLEGE. AND THEN WENT ON TO LAW SCHOOL AT COLUMBIA. SO IN ADDITION TO OWNING A BAR, ANGELA IS ALSO A CORPORATE LAWYER.

ANGELA: Right now, I work for a small nonprofit. It's actually a civic, more of a civic organization. It's called City Tech Collaborative. 

SARAH: IT SEEMED ANGELA’S CAREER PATH WAS TAKING HER FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY FROM HER CHILDHOOD DREAM OF BARTENDING. THAT IS, UNTIL SHE MET RENAUDA RIDDLE, THE OTHER CO-OWNER OF NOBODY’S DARLING.

THEY MET THROUGH THE CENTER ON HALSTED: CHICAGO’S LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER. HERE’S RENAUDA.

RENAUDA: …I lead their women's committee there, Women's Action Committee there. And so I would put, you know, create events for Center on Halsted. 

SARAHL: SO AS HEAD OF THE COMMITTEE, RENAUDA REACHED OUT TO ANGELA, TO TRY AND GET HER INVOLVED. 

ANGELA: It was very important for the Center on Halsed at the time to, try to make sure that they were reaching out to Queer woman. And making sure that easily Queer women understood, you know, here’s what the Center is, and what it does. And you know really the philosophy of that committee was, we do that through social events and community. 

SARAH: OUTSIDE OF THE COMMUNITY CENTER, ANGELA AND RENAUDA REALIZED THEY HAD TWO CRUCIAL THINGS IN COMMON.

OUTSIDE OF THE COMMUNITY CENTER, ANGELA AND RENAUDA REALIZED THEY HAD TWO CRUCIAL THINGS IN COMMON.

ANGELA: …. oh and then we figured out we both like to golf and drink so.

SARAH: SO THE PAIR TOOK TO THE COURSE. THAT’S HOW THEY BECAME GOOD FRIENDS. AND EVENTUALLY, BUSINESS PARTNERS.

ANGELA: I think Renada hadn't golfed in a while. And you know, then do you remember, I got her out on the course ..

… it's just kind of nice, because, you know, you have a buddy you go with all the time, then you’ll go out more often. When other people were kind of irritating us, we knew that we could, you know, call each other and just go out golf and relax.

…And we really felt like, you know, you should have drinks…. 

RENAUDA: Yeah, Angela is responsible. She's always responsible for Yeah, bringing the cocktails.

ANGELA: I think that it was a little illegal. So we gotta be careful. We're not going to tell you which courses we were on. 

RENAUDA: Wait, wait, ah I didn't know that wait. 

SARAH: THAT SECOND VOICE IS RENAUDA AGAIN. IN ADDITION TO HEADING THE WOMEN’S ACTION COMMITTEE, SHE HAS BUILT AN ENTIRE CAREER IN QUEER NIGHTLIFE AND EVENT PLANNING. 

BUT AS A KID, RENAUDA DIDN’T HAVE ACCESS TO ANY SORT OF QUEER CULTURE. SHE GREW UP A  JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IN HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA. 

RENAUDA: I didn't realize I was gay, and so 15 or 16, it really didn't know what that really was until I got to college and got, you know, around other people that were gay.

SARAH: SHE MOVED TO CHICAGO AFTER COLLEGE. 

RENAUDA: My parents both met in Chicago…so that’s kinda how I got my connection to Chicago itself. So that's the reason why, you know, I definitely came to Chicago was definitely because my parents, they have they both have roots here in Chicago… 

SARAH: IN THE CITY, RENAUDA FINALLY FOUND THE ROLE MODELS SHE HAD NEEDED AS A YOUNG PERSON. THROUGH QUEER PARTIES AND SOCIAL EVENTS AND AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER. THAT’S WHAT REALLY INSPIRED HER TO PURSUE EVENT PLANNING LIKE THIS. 

RENAUDA: the women that I've gotten to meet, you know, it really empowers you, you see another queer woman, who is, you know, my same skin tone, and who is thriving. It really does empower you and I was so lucky to be able to be around women that, you know, were who were successful and totally, had, as I say, a very normal life. So, it definitely had a very big impact on the way that I came out. And the way I was so confident about who I was, as being a queer black woman. I'm thankful for, you know, every day, because a lot of people don't, you know, don't have the access to those. Those women. They just don't. 

SARAH: SO RENAUDA STARTED PLANNING POP-UP PARTIES AND EVENTS FOR QUEER WOMEN. SHE HOPED MORE PEOPLE WOULD FIND COMMUNITY LIKE SHE DID.

THAT’S HOW ANGELA AND RENAUDA FIRST MET SHIRLEY J, AT ONE OF THESE PARTIES. 

SHIRLEY: …they just, you know, they invite you in, what can I tell you, you know. So that's what I felt the first time maybe they weren't standoffish at all. They were like, Hey, hi, you know, who are you, you know, like that. It was really nice, you know, nice introduction. And it sticks in my mind because I can still see Renauda's face and Angie’'s face. So we started seeing each other more and other parties and other friends houses and we just got to know each other. 

SARAH: SHIRLEY HAS FOND MEMORIES OF RENAUDA’S POP-UP PARTIES.

SHIRLEY: Oh, my God, they were wonderful. Because it gave--it was a chance that you can go to all girls party. Ok.

SARAH: BECAUSE AT THAT TIME, A LOT OF THE LESBIAN AND WOMEN’S BARS WERE CLOSING DOWN. SHIRLEY AND HER FRIENDS DIDN’T HAVE MANY PLACES TO GO OUT ANYMORE. UNTIL THEY FOUND RENAUDA.

SHIRLEY: It hadn't been anything really something to look forward to until they started throwing their parties. And they were always classy, you know, the girls were beautiful. And it was and it was a mix. And that's what really, really, really got you going is diverse women of all ages and it was just something different. And the novelty about it was that it was never at the same place.

SARAH: ONE OF THE LAST WOMEN’S BARS IN CHICAGO TO CLOSE WAS A WINE BAR CALLED JOIE DE VINE. THAT WAS A FAVORITE OF SHIRLEY’S. IT WAS LESBIAN OWNED. AND LOCATED RIGHT IN SHIRLEY’S NEIGHBORHOOD, ANDERSONVILLE.

SHIRLEY: oh my god, Joie De Vine when opened up 2003. Okay. … It was more like a date bar and kind of classy. It was like, pfft, it was like the bar to go to back then.

SARAH: OVER THE YEARS, SHIRLEY BECAME CLOSE WITH JOIE DE VINE’S OWNER, LAURIE. WHEN BUSINESS SLOWED, SHIRLEY DID WHAT SHE COULD TO HELP KEEP THE BAR OPEN.

SHIRLEY: I was throwing parties there to keep kinda trying to keep it alive. … So on certain holidays, I would have house parties, like Christmas and that, and then my house got too small for my parties. So I say Oh, well, let me just you know, ask Laurie can throw the party over there. And then I started doing my parties over there. And which, you know, helped out in ways girls start coming in, you know, I would pack the bar. 

SARAH: BUT ULTIMATELY, THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE SHIRLEY COULD DO. DURING THE PANDEMIC, LAURIE DECIDED TO SELL JOIE DE VINE. AND HER FIRST CHOICE TO TAKE OVER THE SPOT? WAS RENAUDA.

RENAUDA:…So they came to me, because I did you know, I do events and in the community. They wanted to keep it, you know, lesbian owned. That was something that was very important to them. And so that’s the reason why they came to me I guess. 

SARAH: RENAUDA HAD BEEN THINKING ABOUT OPENING HER OWN BAR FOR A WHILE NOW…

RENAUDA:…I just saw how much money I was making other spaces, and other bars and restaurants that I rented out. And so I wanted to bring the experience to one, you know, my own space. 

SARAH: IN PARTICULAR, SHE HAS ALWAYS HAD A PASSION FOR COCKTAIL BARS.

RENAUDA:

in a given week, in a normal given week, I'm probably at a different cocktail bar, or bars, probably six days, or five days a week. And that's five days is like the, the minimum. 

SARAH: BUT SHE COULDN’T DO IT ALONE. SO RENAUDA PRESENTED THE IDEA TO HER GOLFING BUDDY. SHE THOUGHT ANGELA’S LEGAL BACKGROUND WOULD BE HELPFUL.

RENAUDA: The legal piece of it is the liquor license. Right. And other like, the legal things that come with that. So I don't have that piece of the legal side, I have the financial side. I've been knowing Angela for--um like a little bit over 10 years. And so I knew she was capable of, of doing that. And then she also had a passion for cocktails. So it was kind of like a no brainer.

SARAH: THIS WAS IN THE FALL OF 2020. ANGELA, WHO WAS NORMALLY REALLY BUSY WITH WORK, HAD SOME EXTRA TIME TO TAKE ON A NEW PROJECT. 

ANGELA:…she asked me if I wanted to, you know, to kind of help bring it to fruition. And it was at a really great time for me because it was during the pandemic. And, you know, we, we sort of seamlessly went virtual. So I had time to do this. And you know, you can’t turn away this opportunity to have a place where you’re always going to be able to drink.

RENAUDA:…she finally said yes, after a few asks

SARAH: ONCE THEY WERE BOTH ONBOARD, THE PROCESS WAS A QUICK ONE. THEY TOOK OVER THE SPACE IN MARCH 2021, AND THEN OPENED NOBODY’S DARLING IN MAY.

RENAUDA: Because we wanted to go ahead and get open. Because I'm just like, I don't want to lose any money. So it was kind of like, okay, let's put it together, through our process of purchasing the space, we had some time to put everything, a plan in place before, before you know, basically, we signed on the dotted line. 

SARAH: RENAUDA, WITH HER BACKGROUND IN EVENT PLANNING, RUNS THE BAR BEHIND THE SCENES. 

RENAUDA: So I'm more on the operational side. I think Angela--What will you say? 

ANGELA: Yea mean, obviously, I do a lot of our, you know, legal, sort of corporate organization. And again I had the fantasy that now no one can tell me that I can’t bartend so it all kind of came together in that way.

SARHA: SO ANGELA WAS FINALLY ABLE TO TRY HER HAND AT BARTENDING - HER CHILDHOOD DREAM.

ANGELA:…one night, I did find myself behind the bar. It was just me and our lead bartender. You know, we had someone to call off and we had a whole slew of people come in. I panicked, and I started making shots. So that that's how I calm the crowd. 

SARAH: BARTENDING WAS A LOT HARDER THAN SHE EXPECTED.

ANGELA: originally, as we were sort of thinking through this whole concept, in my mind, I would be behind the bar at certain times, creating cocktails, and I, we quickly realized that we really needed to have professional, you know, bartenders, mixologists, because of, you know, the cocktails that we had identified. … so these bartenders know, exactly how their wells are set up and what they're putting in it. It's, it's quite, it's quite chaotic for, for the layperson. 

SARAH: EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE ANGELA STILL HOPS BEHIND THE BAR TO SERVE A SIMPLE DRINK OR HAND OUT SHOTS.

ANGELA: I still feel very confident that I could do a gin and tonic and a vodka tonic, and, you know, and my kind of mad scientist drinks, 

SARAH: SHE REALLY ENCOURAGED US TO TRY MALORT SHOTS. WHICH WE HAD NEVER HEARD OF. APPARENTLY IT’S A CHICAGO TRADITION.

ANGELA: 

“Cheers” “Cheers” “Welcome to Chicago…” “Thank you, thank you”

SARAH: MALORT IS A 70-PROOF SPIRIT THAT’S ONLY PRODUCED IN CHICAGO. IT’S MADE WITH WORMWOOD - A SUPER BITTER HERB. AND AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, MALORT TASTES KIND OF LIKE GASOLINE. 

ANGELA:

“Yeah that’s usually the face” [laughing] 

SARAH: BUT FOR THE MOST PART, ANGELA LEAVES THE BARTENDING TO THE PROFESSIONALS. LIKE THAT DAY, XAVIER WAS BEHIND THE BAR. HE’S AN ASSISTANT MANAGER AND HEAD BARTENDER THERE.

SARAH: “I def want something with Mezcal”

XAVIER: “Got it. Let’s go off menu, we can make it fun”

SARAH: THE DRINK MENU AT NOBODY’S DARLING IS MADE UP OF CLEVERLY-NAMED COCKTAILS.

XAVIER: we have the A Walker, the Alice Walker summer Martini, that was muddled blueberry and basil for every cocktail. 

SARAH: I INTERVIEW XAVIER AT ONE OF THEIR TABLES OUTSIDE. AND FAIR WARNING, THERE’S A BIT OF CICADA CHIRPING IN THE BACKGROUND. 

XAVIER: This menu was already established by Angela and Renata, based on their favorite things, their favorite drinks. So everything that you see on on the cocktail list is something that Angela or Renauda will like they sat down and talked about and that that's, there's things that they want. And then they kind of trusted our experience like to make modifications if necessary...

SARAH: XAVIER IS A VISUAL ARTIST AND SINGER/SONGWRITER. BUT LIKE MANY ARTISTS, HE HAS BEEN WORKING IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY FOR MANY YEARS. JUST BEFORE THE PANDEMIC XAVIER HAD REACHED HIS BREAKING POINT. HE PLANNED TO QUIT BARTENDING FOR GOOD.

XAVIER:…I was working downtown, right on the river. And I've worked there for going almost four years. And just didn't like I would feel so depleted at the end of the day. Because I'm a people pleaser, and an overachiever. So I was trying to do the best I can possibly do making great money, but feeling kind of empty, and not really knowing myself at the end of the day. So I thought, you know, what's the problem with the service industry, and I was like, well, maybe I need a break.

SARAH: BUT THEN EVERYTHING SHUT DOWN. AND XAVIER’S BREAK FROM BARTENDING TURNED INTO A LONG STRETCH WITHOUT WORK OF ANY KIND.

XAVIER: Learned how to sew, I was like, doing a whole creative vibe. 

SARAH: AFTER ABOUT 18  MONTHS OF THIS, HE DECIDED TO FIND ONE LAST BARTENDING JOB, SAVE SOME CASH, AND THEN MOVE BACK TO MARYLAND WHERE HE GREW UP. 

XAVIER: And I got the call for this spot. It's like black owned lesbian, bar in Andersonville. And I was like, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. And it just like, I feel like I manifested it, it just like all kind of came together at the same time.

SARAH: WORKING AT NOBODY’S DARLING, MADE HIM EXCITED ABOUT LIVING IN CHICAGO AGAIN. 

XAVIER: …coming here and meeting the owners and meeting community, it just kind of, you know, kept me really excited about growing the community here.

SARAH: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FEW-MONTH STINT. HE WOULD WORK FOR THE SUMMER AND THEN MOVE TO MARYLAND IN SEPTEMBER. HE HAD ALREADY TOLD ALL OF HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

XAVIER: And after the first week, I was like, nevermind, I'm staying.

SARAH: AND NOT ONLY IS XAVIER INSPIRED TO STAY IN CHICAGO…

XAVIER: I'm actually moving to Andersonville within the next, you know, few weeks. I’m trying to move October 1st … So I can be closer to here and actually be more involved. 

SARAHL: SO WHAT EXACTLY MAKES NOBODY’S DARLING SO SPECIAL?

IT SEEMS LIKE THE BIGGEST THING FOR XAVIER, IS THAT HE IS MEETING SO MANY OTHER CREATIVES. TO COLLABORATE WITH AND LEARN FROM. HE TALKS ABOUT SCULPTORS, FELLOW MUSICIANS, DRAG PERFORMERS…

XAVIER: I like was put in drag for the first time by someone who I met here, and then they're like, Hey, you know, like, they do drag and I've been trying to, like, you know, I've been supporting them and they want to do you know, more makeup and like clothes. And it's like, I also sew so it's like that's something that now I have a way to meeting a bunch of drag queens. It's like yeah, it's just making Chicago feel a lot more full. 

SARAH: HE ALSO MENTIONED EARLIER. IT’S A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY TO WORK AT A BLACK-OWNED LESBIAN BAR IN ANDERSONVILLE.

XAVIER: Well intersectionality, right. If this is being run by black women, it is kind of and they're intentional about it being a queer bar. It's like, you know, it is femme focused, and women are the primary, you know, the primary attendees of the bar, but they're not exclusionary and just being like with their identity, being what it is, invites, you know, POC to come to Andersonville because this is not the most diverse neighborhood. So they're bringing a little bit of their history in Chicago with them and mingling with like the established neighborhoods here.

SARAH: ANGELA AND RENAUDA HAVE CREATED AN ENVIRONMENT THAT WELCOMES PEOPLE OF ALL AGES AND RACIAL BACKGROUNDS. 

XAVIER: …And I think it’s like when you can walk into a bar and see that you are not like you don't stand out like a sore thumb. Like no one comes in and feels like they stand out. Right? like a sore thumb in a bad way. It's like you come in here like oh, there's some of my mom's age. There's someone my little siblings age, there's, you know, I wouldn't run into them anywhere else. So we're all kind of like collected here. And now it's like I have lesbian friends who are in their 70s. And the but also like, young trans kids who are, you know, just turned 21. There’s like, someone’s my grandmother’s age that’s here right now. 

SARAH: ONE OF XAVIER’S OLDER LESBIAN FRIENDS IS OF COURSE SHIRLEY J. 

XAVIER: Shirley’s definitely like, you know she can get down. It’s fun to watch, and the command she has over the people that she brings.

SARAH: SHIRLEY’S MORE THAN JUST A REGULAR THERE. 

XAVIER: I call Shirley the mayor of Nobody’s Darling.

SARAH: AND XAVIER ISN’T THE ONLY ONE THAT CALLS HER THAT. PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE AT THE BAR DOES. 

SHIRLEY: I laugh I chuckle a little bit. I'm like, Okay, now I'm the mayor. Okay. And it just stuck. I don't know. I think is an affectionate type thing. Yea, it really is. I’ts more of an affectionate term. It makes me smile. And makes me know that you know, that I'm loved back. I got kind of blushing right now. Okay. And I'm smiling. Yes. If you saw me, I'm smiling now.

SARAH: AND AS THE MAYOR OF NOBODY’S DARLING, SHIRLEY HAS HER OWN VIP SIGN THAT SAYS “RESERVED.” ANGELA’S PARTNER MADE IT.

SHIRLEY: So I can use the sign anytime I want to use it. Course I’m not gonna like, you know make people get up. But if I get there and there’s a table, I could set it there and that’s my table. So that made me feel very welcome, and very loved.

SARAH: WE LEARNED FROM XAVIER, THAT SHIRLEY IS INCREDIBLY GENEROUS. TAKE THE FIRST TIME THE TWO OF THEM MET. 

XAVIER: We end up talking and I was like, I really like your shoes. And she's like, what size shoe do you wear, imma buy yous some. I'm like, What do you mean? No, like, are you talking about? And she's like, Yeah, no. And I was like, okay, cool, like, we've been drinking, it's fine. Like, I just, I was like, Alright, I guess nine and a half, whatever. So the next time she comes in, she brings me a pair of Birkenstocks. And it's just like, here you go, I'm gonna take care of you. She’s like your my roll dog, you’re like my son. 

SARAH: SHE’S ALSO ALWAYS BUYING ROUNDS FOR PEOPLE SHE MEETS AT THE BAR. 

XAVIER: You know you see a group of the college, you know, college girls. And it might be a group of six of them, and Shirley is like, hey, Xavier, all of theirs, their round is on on my tab, just put it on my tab. And then she goes over and talks to them and just like, gets to know them. You know just being really supportive. 

SARAH: THIS SEEMS TO JUST BE PART OF SHIRLEY’S NATURE. 

SHIRLEY: If I meet somebody, we're talking, of course, I'm gonna say you want to drink? And it's like, yeah, I'm like, okay, could you give this girl over here a drink? You know, like that. So, But you know, I'm, I'm a giving person. What can I tell you.

SARAH: SHIRLEY GOES TO NOBODY’S DARLING AROUND TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK. SOMETIMES SHE’LL MEET UP WITH OLD FRIENDS FROM HER CLUBBING DAYS. BUT SINCE SHE LIVES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, IT’S EASY TO JUST SWING BY ON HER OWN.

SHIRLEY: That's why I call it my Cheers bar because I can, it takes me five minutes to get there. 

SARAH: ANDERSONVILLE. THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE SHIRLEY LIVES AND WHERE THE BAR IS LOCATED IS FAIRLY RESIDENTIAL. HERE’S XAVIER AGAIN: 

XAVIER: it's not like we're on a strip where there are a bunch of other bars. So the concern, you know, noise levels are a concern, and just making sure we're treating our neighbors with respect and not keeping them up too late…. And it's a little bit off the beaten path. So you have to be intentional about coming here, you're not just gonna stumble upon it, which I think is also helpful to keep, you know, keep the safety and keep the vibe the way that it is.

SARAH: BUT ANDERSONVILLE IS ALSO NOTORIOUSLY WHITE. WHEN THEY FIRST TOOK OVER THE LEASE, ANGELA AND RENAUDA WERE UNSURE HOW THEIR NEIGHBORS WOULD RECEIVE THEM. 

ANGELA: Just being two black women opening, you know, a bar in a predominantly white neighborhood. Um, you know, you do you hope that everything is going to be okay, but it's Chicago. And so, you know, you don't really know. 

SARAH: THAT WAS ANGELA AGAIN. 

TO HER SURPRISE - THE COMMUNITY WELCOMED THEM WITH OPEN ARMS. PEOPLE REALLY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO SUPPORT THE NEW BAR OWNERS. 

ANGELA: Gosh, I think I think the first three weeks, we were open, we couldn't, you know, turn one way or the other without somebody saying, Thank you, thank you for opening this we've been wanting--we wondered, you know, kind of what would happen with this space. We, we really wanted a place to have a drink. There's a Montessori school, you know, across the way and, you know, so we had the parents, right, who, you know, wanted to be able to have a cocktail.

RENAUDA: Yeah, the community has totally embraced us. I remember when we were, like trying to get it together, you know, to open up, they would just, knock on the door and just say, you know, I know you guys are not open yet, but just want to say Hi, and welcome you guys to the neighborhood. And that happened every day we were there doing some work at the bar, and it was just, it was amazing. I felt so warm inside that…

…like Angela said, We're two black women. And we’re in a white, a very predominantly white neighborhood. And they have been just, I mean, beyond supportive, you know, all the businesses in the area. They always want to do something there. You know, can we have our meeting there? Can we have this? Can we have that? We've had other businesses send, send us welcoming flowers. 

ANGELA: I definitely want to make sure that you know, that the people of, you know, the Andersonville community get that credit for, you know, really saying, Hey, welcome, and what can we do to support you. I mean, it has been just an outpouring of love for us. And we're definitely appreciative of it. 

SARAH: AT LEAST IN ANGELA’S AND RENAUDA’S EXPERIENCE, CHICAGO NIGHTLIFE HAS COME A LONG WAY SINCE SHIRLEY’S MEMORIES OF SEPARATING FROM HER OTHER BLACK FRIENDS IN LINE FOR THE CLUB.  

SHIRLEY: We were, you know, always trying to be safe. And we were like I said, we always traveled an entourage. So the only time that I felt like threatened or anything like that was when if I went to a bar and they wouldn't let my friends in.

SARAH: NOW, NOBODY’S DARLING IS RUN BY THE VERY BLACK WOMEN THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN TURNED AWAY OR SEPARATED AT THE CLUBS IN THE 70S AND 80S. 

WHILE SHIRLEY WAS SAD TO SEE JOIE DE VIN EVENTUALLY CLOSE, SHE WAS EXCITED TO SEE THIS NEW EVOLUTION OF HER LOCAL WOMEN’S BAR. 

SHIRLEY 23:39

it was bittersweet, I would say. Kinda bittersweet about Laurie kinda leaving the bar. I was really excited that it wasn't going to close, okay. And it was people that we knew, that bought it. And it was going to be women owned, Black owned….It was like, a win for the girls. 

SARAH: CRUISING IS REPORTED AND PRODUCED BY RACHEL KARP, JEN MCGINITY, AND ME, SARAH GABRIELLI, WITH MUSIC BY JOEY FREEMAN. FOLLOW US ALONG ON OUR ROAD TRIP AND SEE PICTURES AT OUR WEBSITE: CRUISINGPOD.COM OR FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA @CRUISINGPOD. THAT’S C-R-U-I-S-I-N-G-P-O-D. 

SPECIAL THANKS THIS WEEK TO ANGELA, RENAUDA, SHIRLEY, AND XAVIER 

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